Without Him

I’ve lost a lot, so I could gain the life that I’ve been waiting for

I’ve learned to never apologize for finding joy in the things that I have prayed for

Even if someone or something has to go

In order to maintain a blessing, let it be so

Perceived good things also come to an end

The only thing I can’t stand to lose is being cradled in God’s gifted and artistic hands.

A Short Story:

I remember when I made the decision to be a Christ follower, I was so conflicted by what I felt. I had this new thing that I was experiencing and I couldn’t share it. The worst part was maintaining it around those folks, with whom I couldn’t explain it… It wasn’t happiness, I was full and captivated by something but I had no words. I learned to breath deep breaths so I could take in every ounce of this fullness, the breath of new life… but I had to learn to maintain it.

I couldn’t because of the characters surrounding me, while being in environments that I didn’t yet know how to steward in this new life. I continued to question things that I already knew the answer to, causing confusion, which is not from God. I learned new ways, but kept letting old things influence how far I’d allow myself to go, how much I’d allow myself to grow.

God does teach us how to deal with our old, in new ways, when we start to mature in our understanding of who we are, respectful to the identity of who we are created in the likeness of. He will teach you how to navigate and elevate the once familiar environments with a newfound grace.

Eventually, I realized that I had to detach even further from the few remaining things that I was holding onto. Things that were affecting my ability to mature and maintain this new thing called joy. I had to let of everything that wouldn’t allow me to commit completely… to never being without Him.